What a great turnout! So, murphys law is I guess how I used to call all the times things would just turnout...everytime I would save some dinner aside for a small lunch the next day, that portion would just get thrown away at the end of the week...or when I'd say, I'll do a load of laundry Friday morning and I wont have too much left over on Sunday...and then I'd forget the load all of Shabbos in the washer....But this past Friday, after a gloomy week I made one dish for shabbos..a big pot of chicken soup and thats it... I had fish filets waiting in the fridge, but I ran out of garlic so..they patiently waited for my husband to bring the griceries on friday...and fir the first time, the table wasnt set, there were no salads premade from weds. Like I do every week...i so nonchalantle boiled a few eggs, made tehini made a cake from the instant box cakes, and once the garlic arrived I threw some herbs lemon and garlic and in the oven, put everyone to bed and went in for a nap...at 4pm I woke up and said...nope I cant ...i just cant go thru with it...i defrosted ground beef and made some dough on the side and made a large empanada for shabbos, and I loved every minute of preparing..i also made noodles for.my kids...spicy the way my mom makes them...they ate, I put thre large empanada in thr oven set all the timers got the table done, hung the laundry (i didnt forget this time) and took a shower dressed and lit candles just in time...and then I really had a great shabbos! There was plenty of food, cake, ice cream bon bons that were parve..so we were snacking on them alot...and it was a great turnout...Hashgacha Pratit!..Thanks Tatte!

Why ask why? So I guess I killed it by saying why ask why, but this is ultimately the conclusion of todays fuss.. I must have swept the floor 18 times in just 6 minutes while serving lunch today at 11am...because my kids were "hungry" again...so as I sweep for the 11th time, I am muttering to myself how annoyed I am and how I just cant seem to find the strength to say, please SIT with your food ON the table...patiently, softly...they just dont get it, I say...but then I use my mirror and say..."i dont get it"...this is a test, another test, I dont need you to speak patiently, I need you to BE patient!..so instead of asking myself "why?" Why did I make lunch as they were done with breakfast....why didnt I just SIT and drink my morning coffee and enjoy the music...why did I chose to make rice?...you know how messy rice gets with 5 kids ages 1 to 7 eating at the same time?...i should know by now...not to ask, to regret...to load more on guilts shoulders...the im not good enough at this whole mothering thing ...just stop, just say, I want to BE...not why am I not....why ask why! Just be.